I grew up through generations of alcoholism. This disease (as with any addiction) requires others to conform to certain behaviors of codependency in order to accommodate the addiction and survive. I grew up believing I was not good enough (like so many of us), and that I had to hide my Real self in order to feel love and acceptance.
I thought if I could just “fix” myself, somehow people would love me and not leave. I ended up developing addictions of my own to avoid feeling the loneliness and self-inflicted shame inside. Some of these included: over-achieving, people pleasing, compulsive overeating, workaholism/busyness, and relationship addiction.
From a young age, I had meditated, though I did not know that’s what I was doing. As I grew older, I became attracted to metaphysics and new age spirituality. I also studied psychology, trying to understand myself, why I felt the way I did, and hoping I could somehow become the strong, confident woman I wanted to be.
It’s always been easy for me to know that nothing is limited to us and anything is possible, and yet, my own need for security still continued to run my life. I felt truly powerless to change my addictions and compulsions.
In 2005, I watched my marriage unravel, my career suck me dry, and my sense of home disappear. I had done the “right things” and played by the rules. And yet, all the things I put in place to keep me “safe” did not protect me from this pain.
This traumatic turning point pushed me to step out of my pain and into the unknown for the first time, leaving my marriage, my job, and my home. I left all the rules and roles I had known to take a year off. I was tired of lies and wanted to know what was really true.
That year became a year of miracles. I found a loving home, deep friendships, and started a tutoring business that was able to support me by its third month and never was without clients.
I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, we were all guided by a Greater Power. We could trust this Source to take care of us.
Five years later, however, I found myself in another relationship that wasn’t working and another job that was slowly bleeding me dry. I had missed a step. While I trusted my Higher Self and spiritual truths, I had not built a firm foundation inside of myself. I had not truly learned to love and accept myself- all of me. I had divided myself into the parts I thought were acceptable, and the parts I was still ashamed of. The fact that I found myself in similar circumstances again (and didn’t want to a third time!), gave me the courage to face the emptiness and feelings still buried inside of me.
Once again, I left a job, relationship, and moved. In this space, I knew my soul was asking me to step out as a healer, something I had managed to avoid up to this point. After some exploration, I felt drawn to Reconnective Healing and received a Reconnection. Again, I felt miracles happen. I found the help and tools to reconnect the parts of myself I’d pushed away.
When I finally stopped running and listened to the voices of the past, I began to heal.
I learned how listen to my own pain with love and compassion, and reconnect to my body’s intuition. My past beliefs released their hold, I heard my true longings and desires and recognized my own value. I was able to step into gifts and talents that were uniquely mine. I felt self-love for the first time. I had become whole.
Once we learn to hear to access the love and compassion of the Higher Self, we learn it’s safe to love, accept, and trust ourselves just as we are. We learn to decipher our own “internal language”, enabling us to listen and follow the voice within to create a life we feel real and authentic in, where miracles are the way of life.
Today, I love myself, I appreciate my relationships, and I know I can live my life instead of survive it. I used to live trying to protect myself from “bad things” happening. Now, I know how to relax and allow good things to come into my life. I don’t do this perfectly -I’ve given up on that. And truthfully,as long as we’re alive, we’ll continue to have to face our own fears to know a deeper level of trust and love. But I do know I can handle things that come my way, and I know how to let joy in my life. I am able to accept and trust myself and the Higher Self that lives through me to take care of me and lead my life.
It is my desire to guide women through their own spiritual transformation from guarded to open, from doubt to trust, and from fear to joy by helping them reconnect to their voice, reclaim and experience their truth, to break limits, and create the life they were designed to live – one of safety, love, joy, and trust.
Dawn Petalino is a transformational coach and Reconnective Practitioner for Reconnective Healing and The ReconnectionTM. She helps women in transition move out of overwhelm, uncertainty, and self-doubt into a new life with clarity, confidence, and joy. She is a speaker, healer, intuitive, and the #1 Best Selling Amazon Author of PEACE, POWER, AND MIRACLES: How to Use the Proven Awareness3 Method for Eliminating Overwhelm and Increasing Happiness.
Her work helps others clear away their own mental clutter and fears to hear their inner voice and find the clarity, confidence, and courage to create the life they were meant to live.
She has been featured in Sybil International Magazine for the Spirit and Soul of Women, The Author Empowerment Showcase, Synergy for Empowered Women, Transformation TV, and local cable, as well, various business networking groups.