I remember what a revelation it was to learn the heart doesn’t judge. Which meant anytime I found myself judging myself or others, I was not hearing my heart. Perhaps that should have seemed obvious, but for me, it provided a red flag to know if I was connected to my Higher Self.
Of course, after having the revelation, I became aware of how often I was in judgment. I would see the way another person was behaving and think, “oh, poor soul, they just don’t know.” This holy-than-thou attitude sounded forgiving, but the truth was, it hid my own sense of inferiority. By making myself more spiritual, I could justify any feeling of separation. The reality was I judged myself first as not enough or less than, and then stepped on my little pedestal to provide a place to look down upon them. That way, I didn’t have to feel the loneliness of separation.
When I’m really feeling connected to God, I don’t think “oh bless their heart for they know not what they do”, instead I think, “if they only knew they were lovable, they wouldn’t be so guarded”, and sincerely mean it.
Why We Judge
Judgment happens when we feel vulnerable. We judge ourselves negatively when we feel exposed and fear rejection or abandonment in our exposure, telling ourselves we were foolish or stupid for doing such and such. We judge others when they threaten our sense of safety in some way, and we wish to push away the discomfort, telling ourselves how wrong they are and wrapping ourselves in righteousness to feel stronger.
Either way, our judgment comes out of fear. It not only separates us from others, but it separates us from ourselves and the love inside. We feel lonely because our judgment separates us from our Source.
What to Do with Judgment
But what to do? Obviously, this is not an easy task, as we consider it normal and justified to judge. But if you really want to raise your consciousness and have an experience of how your Source really sees things (which always returns us to a feeling of love and safety), then a willingness to try is required.
A Course of Love tells us, “It is only your attention to this Higher Order that will reveal its laws to you. These are the laws of Love.”
Connecting to a Higher Order:
- Get in a quiet place alone where you feel safe. Feeling safe will allow your defenses to soften.
- Close your eyes, put your hand on your heart, and slow down your breathing.
- Watch your breath for 3 or 4 rounds. When you can feel your heart, ask, “What is the truth of this situation?”
- Now comes the tricky part… Wait. As best you can, wait as if you asked a teacher a question and you’re curious what he or she will tell you. Focus on your body and the sensations or energy you feel so as to stay out of your head. This may come slowly. Often, I’ll feel an energy come in and I have to let it move at its own pace.
- Trust what you sense, or see, or feel. And if nothing comes, know you asked and an answer is on the way. (If my head is too involved, or there’s too much anxiety, it helps to talk with a friend or coach who is grounding and can listen without judgement. This releases the anxiety). The answer might come through a friend, book, song, or movie. Your willingness is all that is required.
Sometimes this takes several tries if the problem seems too daunting. So the first thing is take care of your nervous system, so it feels safe. When it has relaxed, our mind slows down and our defenses tend to drop, making the answers are easier to hear.
Above all, remember, compassion for ourselves and others. We’re all learning the best we can. And as long as we are willing, we cannot fail. Your strength lies in your surrender.