There have been several times in my life when I questioned God, how long until… I knew about the law of attraction. I knew about setting goals and visualization. I knew about affirmations. And I did those things. I went through the exercises and followed the rules, only to find the Universe cannot be manipulated to my desires, as much as I tend to grow into Its.
I can force my desires disguised as drive and confidence (and have), but unless the thing I want happens, I am left holding a bag of unworthiness in my hand while I stand by and watch the train leave without me. And if it does happen, I now think I must control it, lest it leave. Either way, I’ve put myself in charge where stress, fear, and overwhelm are my rewards.
So what happens when I finally stop, throw up my hands, and say, “Fine! You win. I don’t want to continue suffering this way. I am willing to use my life to serve Your purpose”?
Whether you call that “You” God, Source, Inner Being, Universe or Higher Consciousness doesn’t matter. What matters is that you became willing to say, “Yes” to a greater plan than yours.
And when you do, three things happen:
- You feel a great sense of relief. You are no longer trying to control all areas of your life – which can be incredibly stressful and draining.
- You find yourself without a past and future, awaiting what the present moment will bring. In other words, you begin to pay attention and live in the moment.
- You feel peace – priceless.
I can recall several times in my life I’ve stepped off the cliff of surrender only to look back years later at how my life unfolded so different from what I thought – but so much better than I could imagine. The one that sticks out, and the one much of Peace, Power, and Miracles is based upon, was leaving my marriage, my career, and moving to Charlotte. I won’t lie, the unraveling was difficult as I unlearned fearful beliefs about myself and life I carried with me for years. But what has transpired from that leap is now a life of love, wonder, abundance, and gratitude that humbles me to my core. And all because I said, “Thy will be done”. It’s not that I’m certain about my path, but I am certain now I am loved because I dared to believe it.
Whenever we surrender, what we are really saying is, “I don’t know what’s best for me. I can’t see the big picture, but You can. I trust You. And I’m willing to have things fall apart if they must before they can get better.”
As A Course in Love tells us, “While God is nothing but the Source of Love, you have, in your doubt, made of God the source of fear. This is the reversal thinking that will pave the way for the rest.”
In my experience, any time something has “fallen apart”, it was because it was never built on solid ground to begin with. Instead, it lay on the foundation of fear, control, lack, or unworthiness. If I got it, I didn’t feel I deserved it and would either work like hell to keep it, or push it away unconsciously.
To finally surrender is to remember we are the pen but not the author. Or what A Course in Miracles says, “you cannot escape from fear until you realize that you did not and could not create yourself.”
When we finally decide to board the boat with our Higher Power as the captain, some things may seem to fall apart. But that is because something better is coming to replace the costume jewelry treasure we settled for. The truth is we rarely know what would truly fulfill us, but when left to our Higher Consciousness to decide, we find humbling surprises in our path – better than we could have dared dream.
“Give over every plan you have made for your salvation in exchange for God’s. His will content you, and nothing else will bring you peace.” A Course in Miracles
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