“You must birth the idea of having no reason to fear these consequences, no matter what they may be.
– A Course of Love
Your partner wants “to talk”, and you’re afraid it’s not good news. One of your clients decides they need to wait a few weeks before starting, and you’re not sure if a few weeks could turn into never. The doctor said the tests will be ready…Monday. The mortgage is due next month, and you’re not sure how much money will be there.
Circumstances come into our lives that leave us feeling vulnerable to possible outcomes. Afraid something will be taken away, we mentally go through panic, worry, fear, overwhelm, and even, depression. Feeling unsafe and uncertain, we want to come up with a plan. We want to fix any possible leaks that might leave us homeless, penniless, or loveless.
There is nothing wrong with a plan B. It can often feel reassuring to know what we’ll do if a particular thing happens.
But the real truth is insanity comes because we are trying to control a future in which we don’t have access. We worry we won’t get what we want, will have to give up what we do want, or sacrifice ourselves in some way in order to survive. We anticipate pain, loss, and suffering.
And this is what drives us into anxiety and depression – the mind’s need to control the future by mentally preparing for the worst.
At such times, when the mind seems to be running on its own momentum of fear, it’s important to remember your commitment.
When you made a decision to trust in the Power that created you, you made a commitment. That means whether you feel it or not, you commit to your trust – not the feeling. Feelings can be fickle if our mind becomes overactive with fear. But a commitment has loyalty and strength behind it. It says, “We’re in this together.”
This is why Awareness of Thought is so important. When we recognize our mind is spinning, and feeling helpless to stop it, we go back to what we have control over – our commitment.
Even in the face of uncertainty, we’ve made a commitment to trust God. Not just when things seem to be going well, but even when, or especially when, they aren’t.
Life’s plan is not to destroy you. It’s to love you. When something changes, leaves, or is taken away, an opportunity for something better is coming – a better job, a deeper love, a greater freedom than you’ve had before. Even if you can’t see it yet, it exists, waiting for the appropriate time.
And you don’t have to know what it is or figure it out.
In those fearful moment, if you can’t find your faith, then remember your commitment. Feel your feelings and get honest with God, sooth yourself with what feels kind and safe, lean on others for reassurance as a way of softening your heart, and through it all, know Life loves you.
This too shall pass. Till then, commit to your trust.