• Feeling Directionless – What To Do When Your Destination Changes

    “I just don’t feel motivated toward putting any action into my business,” a friend and fellow healer lamented. “And I’m worried that I’m blocking something. That I’ll miss out on opportunities because of this listlessness.”

    Her concern was genuine, and I knew from experience what it felt like to have your mind telling you one thing and your heart another. Where the very thing you were striving for and excited about, now feels like someone’s unplugged the cord, and the energy that once fueled it is gone. The feelings that arise from such incongruences create a mixture of guilt for not pulling your own weight, and a heaviness at the very thought of forcing yourself to carry out your list of “shoulds”.

    I also knew from experience of the sadness, depression, or even physical maladies that come with such forcing. These are not the same feelings experienced when we feel helpless. Sadness and depression from helplessness emerge from the fear of trying.  In which case, you must only move as fast as you feel safe moving – baby steps and self-acceptance are the key. The feelings I’m talking about here actually weigh us down when we try to do the things our conditioned mind tells us we should be doing.

    However, not doing anything you think you should be doing is easier said than done.

    drifting boat

    The result of not doing can leave us feeling directionless, as if we are adrift in the ocean without a map. For a moment, we thought we knew where we were headed, but now it seems as if the winds have died and our little raft is floating toward nothing in particular.  Unnerving to be sure! In this world, we are taught strong, successful people strive toward their goals at all cost.

    I beg to disagree. If the cost of striving toward your goal is less energy, less joy, and less life, then all that striving is taking you toward a destination your mind decided upon, only to find yourself disheartened once you get there because it’s not what you thought it would be. The life of the spiritual journeyer doesn’t decide the destination; she only decides to get on board. Her heart becomes her compass. And if the winds seem to change direction (which if you’re serious about following your Spirit will happen many, many times), then we must be willing to let go of the rudder and sit quietly, awaiting a new course.

    This is only frightening to the conditioned part of us that likes to control in order to feel safe. In contrast, the part of us that stepped onto the boat, accepting the ride, is quite okay with being directionless for a while. This is our heart, and she knows her real safety lies in trusting the voice of the wind and the power of the waves to take her home.

    If you’re feeling adrift and directionless it helps to:

    1. Know you can trust your feelings. That’s how our intuition speaks to us. And know when it’s time to sail again, you will feel the movement of the wave.
    2. Talk it out with others you trust who can witness to your truth, not offer “helpful” ways to reach your goals or change your feelings. When others witness us as we speak, we learn what is really true in our hearts.
    3. When fear seems to take over, do things that feel comforting and safe. This helps that frightened part to calm down and see everything is okay as you get more comfortable with less control.
    4. Sit quietly in the morning, or evening, with the fearful parts. Give this part a name (I call mine, Manny, short for Manager) and write out its concerns. Let it all out and listen. Then go to your heart and feel the openness and love and the safety that resides there when you allow yourself just to rest. Ask this Higher Self what is true? Notice what brings you peace. This is your truth. Trust it.
    Need some reassurance?

     

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