Once you’re on the spiritual path, engaging in self-reflection and growth, it becomes obvious that at some point you must move past someone’s personality and recognize that person is still deserving of love. In other words, we forgive.
You understand that wherever that person is in consciousness is just where they are. And though we may not choose to hang out with them, we no longer hold them hostage against what they do not know.
Growth, right? We feel pretty good about ourselves for taking the higher road. Until, we hit that one speedbump that gets us every time, stopping our sense of worthiness. You know the one I’m talking about.
The one labeled – “I screwed up.”
It seems easier to forgive another person than it ever is to forgive ourselves.
A Course in Miracles defines forgiveness as, “Looking past your distorted self-concepts and perceptual errors to the Self that God created in you as you.”
What this means is that when you judge someone else or yourself, you are not seeing the truth of the situation. Therefore, you have to ask for forgiveness – a correction of perception.
This is especially difficult with ourselves. We somehow believe that if we feel guilty – and continually remind ourselves of our guilt – that somehow, we’re being humble. And by forgiving ourselves, we’d be letting ourselves off the hook. And here’s the crux that really hits home – we don’t feel we are worthy of such forgiveness. Instead, we get it in our minds we need to become better before we can be loved.
And that’s the disconnect. Knowing God means knowing you are worthy of love now. Not at some point in the future when you’ve earned it. Earning love is a sad, accepted condition of our world today. But love can’t be earned, just like having a human heart can’t be earned. It’s a given. It came with the package.
To dare to say, “Even if I totally screwed up, I am still worthy of love here” is to accept love from the Universe and know we are deserving of such love for just existing.
If we want to grow into a person, society, and planet based on harmony, peace, love, and compassion (and by the way, abundance is a natural response to such a state), then goodwill must start at home.
If you can’t have understanding and compassion for yourself, then even if you “offer” it to another, it won’t really get to the heart of the situation because it was never offered to your own.
Forgive yourself and accept yourself as part of the human race. You and I are going to make mistakes. But, mistakes are not the point, they’re the practice. The point is to know we are loveable in our humanness.
And once we can get there, a funny thing happens – we are able to accept others in theirs as well.
Love holds no one hostage – including ourselves.