“Shame is not of God and no one is responsible for our happiness. Taking action to alleviate the pain of not feeling worthy is reinforcing beliefs of unlovability and unworthiness. Since the Source of Who You Are is Pure Love, you cannot be bad, unworthy, or unlovable. If these emotions come up, go back to the earlier Awareness practices to regain your center. In doing so, you will reconnect with the Source of Love inside of you. Here, you experience acceptance.
Once a place of acceptance is felt, any action, if needed, will make itself known. Just keep in mind, acceptance comes on its own terms. Forcing it or “trying” to create acceptance is not self-love and self-acceptance – the two qualities needed to acquire presence and an open heart. Forcing is another “should” we place on ourselves, hoping to get what we want. True acceptance is about being honest with ourselves in whatever we feel and loving that. This will not keep us stuck, as many fear. On the contrary, acceptance leads to freedom.” (p. 36)
– An excerpt from Peace, Power, and Miracles
Guidance comes with acceptance of feeling. The clarity we so desire sits right beside our vulnerability. To admit all we feel in the moment is being honest, open, and willing. It is laying down our arms to the Source within and saying, “Show me how to see this”.
The Course of Love tells us, “Being aware of how you feel in the present moment is the only way to certainty.”
Last week, a man I’d been looking forward to seeing didn’t bother to let me know he’d returned to the US, back to Charlotte (ever notice it’s the romantic ones that get you!). I had reached out to him on Facebook, and he’d responded 2 days later he was in town. I could rationalize he’d only been back for two days, or he’d lost his US sim card, and thus his contacts, causing a delay, or he needed time to readjust, or any number of reasons. But that’s not really the point, is it?
The point is I was hurt, and I tried to tell myself all the reasons I shouldn’t be. But if I were honest with myself (which is where truth starts), had situations been reversed, I’d have let him know I was back and suggested getting together at some point. I was more invested than he. This didn’t make him bad or evil, it made him who he was. The only conflict was could I accept who I was?
When I stopped making myself wrong for feeling the way I did and instead admitted my hurt, something in me stopped struggling. Neither of us were wrong, we just different. If I were to force myself to think like him, I would have betrayed myself. But by accepting my feelings without condemnation, I was able to make where I stood okay, and in the process, make him okay as well.
Paradoxically, I felt more love for us both, not less. Why? Because I accepted my feelings in the moment. I didn’t have to like them or the situation, but I did have to accept them. In acceptance, we find freedom. We also gain clarity.
I could now see him, should I still choose, and feel whole. I could choose to enjoy the person without the expectation. Either way, I knew what I needed and knew he couldn’t give me it. I also knew that was okay.
When we can let the situation be as it is, we actually feel better because we’ve allowed our feelings about it in the moment to be okay. That’s observing ourselves. It’s accepting ourselves right where we are. It’s also loving ourselves without trying to change anyone else.
This reopens our hearts and allows Love to lead once more.
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