There’s one thing about guidance, it brings with it certainty. Even if you don’t like the answer you receive, even if it’s something about yourself you’d rather not see, you know it’s true.
The rational mind will often try to talk us out of our truth by telling us what makes sense. But guidance often doesn’t make sense. It just feels right. And there’s no fooling yourself, at least not for very long.
I remember when other people would tell me my ex-husband and I were just having communication problems. I would listen to their advice, nod my head in agreement, and hear myself say, “Yeah, I guess.” Those words, I guess, are red flags you’re listening to someone else’s experience, not to wisdom.
How do you know when wisdom is really wisdom? You know it’s wisdom when it’s true for you. That’s when words become wisdom. Otherwise, they are just another person’s opinion.
The Ways We Fool Ourselves and What To Do Instead
1. We doubt our feelings. This is number one. We know it, feel it, sense it, but because we can’t explain it, we doubt it is true. Instead we listen to others advice in our business, relationships, or health and put it on like someone else’s coat.
What to do instead? Assume what you’re feeling is true. Notice I didn’t say assume your thoughts are true, pay attention instead to the feelings. Then explore what those feelings mean for you. Anger might mean you’re not setting boundaries or taking care of yourself. Guardedness might mean this isn’t someone you feel comfortable trusting. Resistance may mean it’s not something you really want or not right for you, even though “the experts” say you should.
2. Our mind will judge. When we are judging someone else OR OURSELVES, this is not guidance. Guidance doesn’t judge. It comes from the heart, not the head. And the heart never judges.
What to do instead? Notice what the mind is saying as if listening to a friend, trying to figure out what’s going on with them. If you’re mind is stuck in martyrdom, ask yourself why this part of you is annoyed? What is she really wanting? If your mind is putting down another, like a spouse or boss, ask yourself what this part of you is really resentful about?
Strong judgments arise from fear. If we’re judging someone else, it could be we are afraid of what they think of us, of making a mistake, of not feeling loved, or fitting in. Notice what the judgement is and look at the deeper fear and the deeper need.
3. We are trying to figure it out and take action too soon. When fear and uncertainty is involved, we will often catch ourselves ruminating over the problem, keeping ourselves in fear. We hate the discomfort or feelings we’re experiencing and we want out. Guidance never comes out of what seems like a “good idea”. When we are forcing solutions, we ask advice of others, read various material and google answers. And that is all fine! Gathering information is part of receiving guidance. But just because something seems like a good idea doesn’t mean it is one.
What to do instead? Pray for the truth to be revealed and that you will know it when it comes. God doesn’t talk in code. When something rings true, we feel a certainty that comes from our bodies, not our heads. It takes practice, but you learn that when you ask, an answer is given.
“As you become willing to accept this Help by asking for It, you will be given It because you want It.”
A Course in Miracles