We tend to be creatures of habit, and no where does that show up more than in our thinking.
Waking up to a rainy Tuesday wasn’t bad after a previous late night. With coffee and meditation, I felt energized enough to hit the elliptical and shower, and even inspired to do some afternoon computer work.
However, by the time I finally sat down to my computer, I no longer felt inspired. I felt tired and wanted sleep. There’s no time for rest, I thought. Emails needed returned, a blog needed written, and my social media person needed me to look over some things – all before 4:30pm.
And there it was, the old train track of productivity that has been my mind’s regular route for so long, it couldn’t imagine doing something different. I had hit a crossroads. Productivity versus relaxation.
To my mind, relaxation implied laziness. It meant I had wasted my day. At least if I was productive, I’d have something to show for it. I could be proud of myself, while doing nothing meant I squandered precious time when I could have been doing something else.
Knowing what I know now about making choices to become the person I’d like to be – one who can relax and enjoy her life – I decided to try something different. I went for the nap.
The interesting thing was as soon as I closed my eyes, my whole body relaxed. I wasn’t “being productive”, but I was doing the exact thing I felt like doing, and it sent out a quiet joy inside of me.
Later, when I got up and realized I had little time left before I needed to leave and meet a client, that old train track kicked in again. It wanted to toot the whistle of “see, I told you so! You wasted the day!” And I did for moment, but then I remembered the peace my body felt and decided to focus on that instead of what didn’t get done. I chose to support myself versus fight myself.
Situations themselves are neutral. It’s how we perceive them that gives them meaning. Do you choose to focus on guilt? Or do you choose to focus on how it feels to give yourself love? Given those two options, the choice for me was easy. Love just felt better in my body and put me in a happier state.
Lighter emotions feel better because they carry a higher frequency in line with the Higher Self or Pure Consciousness. Knowing this, I could rest in the fact I was now seeing truth not the lie. That perhaps the only wasted time is the time wasted on punishing ourselves instead of supporting ourselves.
On this day, I started to build a new train track – one that traveled to serenity. It’ll take practice for sure, after all that old track is well greased. But I will be choosing to ride on this track more often, until one day, it becomes my regular route.
“As your old way of responding to life causes you to struggle or resist and the new way of thinking replaces that old pattern of response, you will begin to see that each new response is the answer to a a call only the heart can hear.”
A Course of Love