• The 80/20 Principle in Relationships

    The 80/20 principle is something many of us have heard before. We spend 80% of our time and energy on the areas, habits, and actions that bring the greatest results, and 20% on the rest. The premise is that 80% spent on those things that give the greatest punch, also provide the greatest gains. Now, I’ve heard of this in business and organization, of course, but a friend reminded me it could be used it in my personal relationships as well.

    Here’s the gist.

    Look at whom you receive good feelings about yourself and meaningful moments in their company. Are you spending more of your time with them? Could you be? Or are you going after the person who is never available, always complaining, or drains you?

    Spend 80% of your energy and time with those you feel good around and lessen or eliminate your time with those you don’t.

    How committed are you?

    When he told me this, I was thinking about asking a guy out whom I met and liked a few weeks ago. We had texted a few times, but I noticed his answers were short and his responses days apart. This interaction left me feeling of rejected, uncertain about myself, and lowered my own sense of worthiness. Granted, he may be busy. Or he may not be that into me. Who knows? But the point isn’t about him, it’s about me feeling good about myself and who I am.

    So here’s what I did. I looked back at two other male companions who’d been more receptive and whose company I enjoyed and texted them.  Both responded back within the hour and now I have plans for Tuesday and Wednesday evening.

    The bigger picture? I’m looking forward to the company AND feel good about myself.

    By reaching out to the love that was there, I loved myself. When I focused on grabbing at what wasn’t available, but wanted to be, I experienced lack.

    That’s it. Big lesson for today – practice the 80/20 principle in your own life. Where and with whom are you spending your time, money, and energy? What results are you receiving? Now decide.

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