Recently, a woman who had attended one of my talks reminded me of something I had said that day.
“You said, ‘I need to become a fascinated witness to my own life’. I’ve thought a lot about that since then,” she said.
I remembered when I had I given the talk. I had just taken a big step in letting go (yet, again).
I’d been depressed for a several months and kept thinking if I could just figure out the solution to my problem, I’d feel better. But the problem was I was spending so much of my time worrying and trying to figure out the solution, I couldn’t feel better.
I had been told by a mentor, I’d either have to give myself the freedom of stop trying to control my future, or go on antidepressants. I knew, for myself, antidepressants were not the answer since I was the one who was making myself crazy with all the worrying and trying to figure out my life.
It was the wakeup call I needed. I had told myself, “Dawn, you are not allowed to think about the next moment! You are only allowed to enjoy yourself right now- this is your mental health we’re talking about!”
Sometimes, I need to put things in all or nothing terms so I really get the importance of it, and I knew this was important.
It was after this “diagnosis” that I took the big leap and let it all go. I’ve had several crashes in my life when all I could do was surrender and miracles had occurred, so I knew how powerful giving up control can be- and how difficult until we’re finally ready to accept help.
That day I did.
Within 2 weeks, I had two people contact me for life coaching, another for a Reconnective Healing, and still another for a Reconnection. I also ran into an old boyfriend from two years ago, both of us a little wiser, a little more open-hearted, and a lot more self-aware. We’ve been dating ever since and it’s an entirely new experience.
That’s how the world works when we surrender to a power greater than ourselves.
We become the one holding the hand of Source, excitedly waiting to see where we’re being pulled to next. I say excited because I used to think it was like being blindfolded and led, but now I see my eyes are open, and we are at an amusement park while I’m being pulled to the next fun and exciting ride.
I am a part of this body, I call me. But I am not the source of this body, nor am I the force of it. I am the witness to the life being lived through me, as me. My job is to watch, wait, and live in wonder as my Spirit unfolds this life before me – in safety, joy, and trust.
You are taken care of.